Since I was a little girl, I have struggled with self confidence and self worth. I never felt good enough, pretty enough or accepted. I want that to change! I am 35 years old and I am on a journey to like me and to quit being afraid of what others think of me or whether they like me. I want to like me!
So how do I start? I am blessed to be a part of a women's biblestudy through our church. Recently we started the study, "Falling in love with Jesus". This study has started laying the ground work for this journey and for getting me to take action. Through journaling, reading the Bible and studying this book, I am learning how much Jesus loves me and how important I am to him.
Don't get me wrong, I have always known that Jesus loves us but I always thought that applied to everyone else but me. I know he loves my family and my friends and wants only good things for them but does he feel that way about ME? I can say it in my head but I can't seem to get it through to my heart.
A reason for starting this blog is because I think I'm not alone...I think a lot of us feel this way. We want to be secure in who we are and how special we are but we only seem to view ourselves through the negative lens. I always think "oh if I were skinnier, then I would like me" or "if I was nicer, then I would like me" or "if I was prettier, then people would care about me." The long and short of it is that those things never seem to fix the problem. I want to change my mind set, I want to help others change their mind set and I want to become someone who inspires others to believe in themselves and who they are in God.
I hope you'll join me on this journey. I'm sure I'll need all of the help I can get.
You are right ... you are not alone. Remember the surprise we all got when we found out Mother Teresa wasn't sure if the love of Christ included her!??? If she had those thoughts, what are the rest of us to do??? I had a profound experience in January of 1995 on a week long spiritual retreat. I was in my single, barren room at the monastery where the retreat was reflecting on the teachings of the day. Suddenly everything down to my cellular level was 'alive'with the "knowing" of God's love for me. It washed over me in a powerful way ... there was nothing I had to do or be for this love. God loved me. Period. And not a fleeting love, but a deep abiding love for me - I couldn't lose it or escape it. I will never forget that moment ... that moment where what my head kept saying was true and my heart wanted to believe was true was actually true and known in every part of me. I can also tell you that since that moment, I have tried to deny it and doubt it. I seem to want to give back the gift - "it can't be true". I think I'm sometimes afraid I have to live up to it and just simply can't!! And then I recall that there is no weight loss, no hairstyle, no perfection in work or family or at church that earns me God's love ... it is. That's it. It's just so simple that it's almost complicated!!! And so, I keep learning the lesson of loving me and loving others and I learn it over and over. I come alongside you and you alongside of me in the journey!!!!
ReplyDeleteListening to a sermon podcast on my way home from work yesterday I was reminded of something remarkable about God's love ... when Jesus went to John the Baptist and the heavens opened and God said, "This is my son with whom I am well pleased", Jesus hadn't done a miracle, started his ministry, gained followers, called disciples, etc. God's love, even for his only begotten son, was poured out simply because God loves God's son. Even Jesus didn't have to do works or "measure up" - he just had be who he was - God's son. Certainly we know in hindsight how "perfect" Jesus was, but at that moment, love was given because, for me, God loves! And as children of God and brothers and sisters of Jesus, God says to us too, "Lisa - this is my daughter with whom I am well pleased"!
ReplyDeleteAnd another thought ...when I comment on your blog posts, do not interpret my posts as setting up duties for you to reply!! You post without expectation of reply because the posting is from you. My reply is from me. I post it without expectation of reply. Obligations are not a part of this. Ever. Hugs!